“I don’t have to fully write my private story. It’s being written with me and in me. I am already a character on the stage. I am being used, I am being chosen, I am being led. [I am] both the agony and the ecstasy of God that is happening inside, and all [I] can do is say yes.” Richard Rohr
I abide in three homes.
ONE HOME is a physical home. It is the home I prayed for during a three-year wilderness, using Psalm 107:28-30:
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and He brought them out of their distress.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
Then they were delighted at the quiet,
and He guided them to their desired haven.
It is my “desired haven,” my place of solitude, the place where I commune with God. It is my place of burrowing and hibernation, my dependence and listening, of my learning and transformation. It is the place where I sit on my small deck and listen to the morning birds, read Anne Lamott, The Gospels and Richard Rohr. It is where I snuggle up with my cat named Comfort, and encourage and am encouraged by gracious new friends and neighbors.
ANOTHER HOME is here – this blog – where I communicate with others who care about love, grace and justice. In this home, I write about the unconditional, abundant love and the irrational, excessive grace of our Father toward all His creation. It is where I contemplate the immeasurable compassion and inclusion Jesus offers everyone, no matter race, religion, gender, sexual identity, age, or former sins. I beat the drum of this true Gospel of restoration as though the keyboard were my drum sticks.
At times, my tempo is fast and passionate; other times, it is a quiet, slow roll, more like playing with brooms. Either way, my heart is in the words of Jesus, allowing them to be heard over my own.
It is in this home I learn from others through whom God works. I find fellowship, friendship and fortitude. In this home, I am offered reassurance, reinforcement and refreshment.
MY PERFECT HOME abides in the Spirit, my most important home of all. It is in this home I find comfort and solitude. It is here, in my relationship with the Spirit, I seek wisdom and am given revelation. I don’t have to wait to “go home.” Because I make my home in Him and He makes His in me, I am already home; this is heaven on earth. (John 14:2)
Sometimes, I don’t even know when I need to shut out the world and ensconce myself in this shelter, under His wings of protection. But the Spirit alerts me by letting me feel uncomfortable around people; by giving me a desire to hunker down, and to be wrapped in the expanse of His tranquil presence.
This, of course, is my permanent home. This home is with me all the time; the One who will never leave me. The home I pray all would choose to experience. For once chosen, this home – this family, this relationship – is one from which you too, might wish to never leave.
But all these things that I once thought worthwhile – my greatest accomplishment – I now consider worthless because of what Christ has done in me. And more so, I now realize that all I gained and thought was important was nothing but yesterday’s garbage compared to knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have put aside all else, counting it worth less than nothing, in order that I can abide in Christ. (Philippians 3:7-8)