Freedom in Letting Go

Always measure your life solely by the standards of Jesus. Submit yourself to His yoke, and His alone; and always be careful never to place a yoke on others that is not of Jesus. It takes God a long times to get us to stop thinking that unless everyone sees things exactly as we do, they must be wrong. That is never God’s view. There is only one true liberty-the liberty of Jesus at work in our conscience enabling us to do what is right.” Oswald Chambers*

This has been a difficult year for me, politically, mentally and spiritually. I have been on a roller coaster ride in all three arenas.

Politically, I have been praying for our President and Congress while seeking the fragrance of truth and integrity. Sadly, I have only found the odor of hyperbole, obfuscation, misuse of power, outright lying and obstruction. I have felt overwhelmed and despairing at the lack congressional and faith-based disapproval of such behavior.

Mentally, I have swung back and forth between depression and hypomania. This has been challenging and painful for two reasons. One, I have bipolar 2 which comes with a ratio of 40:1 depression to hypomania. Depression has become a familiar companion – not so the cycling between them. Two, I have only experienced a lengthy hypomania cycle twice before, the last one more than twenty years ago. This new cycling has unnerved me because I haven’t yet been able to manage the manifestations.

Spiritually, I have bounced in and out of connection with the One who lives in me. It has taken me more time than usual to clear the fog so I can hear the voice of my sweet Shepherd. The Spirit is telling me I need to go back to basics, to the relational act of spending quiet time with him every morning, and I don’t know why I resist. I am certain I must do this, yet I continue to feel a push/pull; I know this is the enemy trying to pull me away from Love, from Grace, from Peace and Comfort.

The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance.” (John 10:10)

As I allow myself to breathe His breath, to feel His heart beating in mine, and to allow His thoughts and desires to become my own, my cares and concerns will lift off my shoulders. They will become His. The ever-beating rain I feel heavy upon my shoulders will become a cleansing ablution upon my body. I will instead feel only His yoke upon myself: the yoke of peace beyond understanding, of unconditional love and lavish grace.

In order to get there, I must let go. I must take a leap of faith. I must have faith in what I do not see. In order to get to letting go, I must remember the times my Father has held me in His strong, compassionate arms. I must evoke that feeling of safety and comfort again. In order to get to letting go, I must remember I am His beloved daughter; I am His precious treasure, and He cares for me. That is the measure of my life. And when I finally let go, I know Jesus is there to walk with me. I know the Spirit is in me to remind me of Jesus’ words.

Then Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

* ©1992, Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, May 6, Oswald Chambers Publications

22 comments

  1. I, too, appreciate your honesty. I was just talking with a friend how we don’t hear testimonies much anymore. If we (believers) are so afraid of opening up and letting others know about our struggles and how we’re learning to overcome them, what kind of message does that send? That we are perfect?

    I will pray for you. I know that letting go is difficult, but you can do it. Phil. 4:13 He can.

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    1. Thank you so much. I am feeling and breathing in these loving prayers, and know He hears them. ❤

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  2. Prayers for you Susan. Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent with us. It is in those moments that I think we all heal.

    Abba,,
    I boldly approach Your throne of grace and mercy with my sister Susan beside me. I bring her to You Abba, I ask that You descend onto my sister Your daughter with Your Holy Spirit and bring about deep healing from all that is distracting my sister from You. Lord, bring quick resolution to her needs. I pray this in the mighty name of Ben Elohim (Jesus Christ). Thank You Abba for hearing our hearts cry. Amen…

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    1. ❤ Thank you.

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  3. “I must evoke that feeling of safety and comfort again. In order to get to letting go, I must remember I am His beloved daughter; I am His precious treasure, and He cares for me. That is the measure of my life. And when I finally let go, I know Jesus is there to walk with me.”

    Beautifully stated. What a faith-filled statement. And as the others have said, your openness and vulnerability is a blessing and source of encouragement to us all. I pray, with the others, for God’s big snowball of grace and love to roll over you in this season and that you will rediscover the absolute joy and peace you know is waiting for you. Blessings to you, dear sister.

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    1. Thank you for this prayer, Mel. I can already visualize that snowball. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Praying for you Susan. I love your transparency and vulnerability before Him and us. You are such an inspiration and encouragement to so many. I pray those same things will flow your way in abundance. Ironically, I wrote about the same passage in Matthew today. The Lord must really want to encourage us with those words 🙂 Blessings to you ❤

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    1. Thank you, Cindy. ❤

      I tend to forget the times I write about my struggles are the times I connect most with others. We all have them, and the tendency is to attempt to heal ourselves, and how does that ever work for us?

      I am not quite out of the dark yet, but I see more than a pinpoint of Light at the end of this long tunnel.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Isn’t that the truth? And you’re so right – attempting to “fix” myself has never worked out very well for me either. Praying the Light continues to carry you – even when you’re unaware. 😘🙏🏼

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  5. Darling, here I will relate a bit of levity because it applies. I will email you later because I think I am a qualified shoulder; I am intimately familiar with what you are experiencing.

    A man falls over a cliff and grabs onto a root to stop his descent. He cries out, “Help me! Is anyone up there?”

    “I’m here.”

    “Who’s that?”

    “It’s me…God. I’m here to help you.”

    “Thank God! I’m holding on by just this root. What should I do?”

    “Let go.”

    .
    .
    .

    “Is anyone else up there?”

    (I’ll see you in the mailbox, darling. Hold on…)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 😀 Oh, thank you for this, Kitsy. Absolutely what I needed this morning! ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. As always, Vincent, ❤

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      1. You’re very welcome Susan 😍

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  6. Part of the great paradox of the Christian faith is that We don’t have to do anything to achieve salvation, but let go receive the Spirit of Christ in our hearts.

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    1. Yes – let go and receive – that truly is the heart of the matter. Breathing in and breathing out today, Tony.

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  7. May His grace and His face shine upon you, may He give you peace.

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    1. Thank you. Love and hope lift me up. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😃 have a great weekend!

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  8. Melissa Presser, Lover of Jesus · ·

    Susan, this is beautiful and I get it. I hope you know that I care, even though I may have lacked in my efforts to reach out. Sometimes those of us that suffer with depression fail to reach out when we should because we isolate ourselves. But we shouldn’t because being alone is just not healthy, especially when there are so many wonderful friends out here who care.

    Mornings have also been tough for me after Lent. I too feel the enemy pulling me away from my Jesus. I have fought off the attacks but it has not been easy, so I understand where you are coming from.

    You are a beautiful person with beautiful words and something to say. I am very fortunate to have met you, and connected with someone who gets me. I admire you for persevering despite what you suffer with, and I know a lot of people benefit from your truth and your writing.

    God bless you my friend.

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    1. Dear Melissa, thank you for reaching out today. Though I consider my solitude a great blessing, (https://susanirenefox.com/2017/05/10/in-deep-time/) I sometimes cannot distinguish between it and the step-by-step descent into darkness. I believe the power of letting go begins with telling truth, being vulnerable enough to say what is, ugly or not, and falling upon the Spirit to take me upon His wings and lift me up out of darkness into light. It’s a scary but wholly necessary step.

      Thank you again for being a friend. ❤

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